I used to think I was broken. I cried over EVERYTHING! As a kid and young adult, I would blubber over:
- hurt feelings
- TV shows and movies when characters died, were sad, or were in pain (even the fake-cartoon ones)
- anger, and the whole power and control thing that comes with anger
- other people crying
- getting in trouble
- at dusk (for some reason I am energetically sensitive to this time of day)
- when Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” hit the airways (can’t even begin to explain this one)
- when someone was disappointed in me
- making mistakes
- arguments with friends
- a raised voice
- when someone didn’t like me
- and the list goes on and on…
Seriously, some days I would just WTF myself and condemn my existence for not having any balls, strength, and self-confidence. I thought this made me weak.
CONFESSION, I still cry. A whole lot. But I get it now. And fortunately, such as with the Gloria Gaynor thing considering it plays in EVERY karaoke joint, I did get a grip on some of the above.
Here's what I discovered:
1. I am an empath.
All this means is that I tend to absorb the energy of emotions from others. When someone is angry, I feel it. When someone is happy, I feel it. When someone is sad, I feel it. And while it may seem a curse at the surface level, it makes me REALLY GOOD at what I do. It connects me to my clients, and I can detect emotions that aren’t stated or are trying to be covered.
A good majority of my clients that complain about being “overly sensitive” also have this gift. And the key is to embrace it as a superpower, and use it!
Check in with yourself. How do you feel around others when they are emotional? Can you FEEL them too? Do you get a bit wiggy in large crowds, overwhelmed by all the energy that seems to be swirling in the room? Can you easily identify with the pain and struggles of others (even if fictional)? If yes, it’s a good sign you are an empath.
Now I embrace the tears when I cry with clients, or yes, when I feel pain, sadness, or complete joy from characters on TV or in movies. Or when someone I love is hurting. And still at dusk. I let the emotion flow through me, and express gratitude for this gift.
2. Confidence comes from within, from a true connection with your soul / authentic voice.
I spent a hell of a long time looking for my self-worth from other people, places, and things. I was sorely disappointed.
Learning to tap into the strength of my inner “warrior” changed the game. It helped me set healthy boundaries, so I could deflect raised voices, other people’s disappointment in me, or judgements from whomever.
I started to stand firm in my OWN beliefs, and while still caring somewhat what others’ think (we are human and can’t totally shut this off… unless you are a sociopath), I didn’t let this sway my course of action or decisions.
(If you have no idea how the heck to find your “soul voice”, your “warrior”, enter your name and email address below to access the video page.)
Ok, so I lied.
Number 3. I leave you with this because you hear it all the time… "Be Strong!"
Holding back your tears so you can “be strong” for someone is utter bullshit.
Showing emotion is vulnerable, yes, but it is what forms genuine CONNECTION. And there is more power and courage in allowing yourself to be vulnerable with someone than in suppressing your feelings. Don’t believe me? Read Brene Brown’s work.
If it seems like all you do is cry, take stock in the above. Reframe your thoughts around this, and OWN your power!
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